Tag Archives: repairs and maintenance

CAR vs BIKE comic: the controversial issue explored

By Mr Oh on | 14 Comments

car vs bikeCAPACITY an average family estate car can transport one sumo wrestler, the wind section from St Bart's primary school, a year's supply of nappies, 4 bikes, and one kitchen sink. A bike can't. ( pic of bike balancing all this labelled with: this is impossible, it is just a drawing. POWER Cars have HORSE Power. Bikes rely on WILL power Picture of horse with labels: "really muscular legs", "very exciting steam coming out of nose", "these beasts will do all the work for you". Picture of a cyclist on a bike with labels: "unexciting bogey streaming from nose", "2 underused, prone-to-injury legs", "you will need to do all the work yourself" HYGIENE When you fart in a car, the fart lingers and is trapped inside, producing a hideous noxious which affects even the most robust of passengers. ( passenger struggling and drowning in a cloud of hideous gas) When you fart on a bike, the rancid aroma is instantly dispersed into the air. Zero fallout and guilt-free freedom. Guff at will sign.USAGE On average the car spends only 10% of its time actually being used. The rest of the time it is parked off the road. On average the bike spends 99.9% of its time gathering dust, neglected and pining for your company in the garage, tyres slowly deflating and chain going rusty, awaiting the day you will return so it can get its own back by refusing to function as it should.REPAIR & MAINTENANCE Fixing your car is a just a phone call away. For bike repairs, you feel obliged to do it yourself. This generates a deep feeling of your shameful inadequacy as you desperately try to prove your manhood and show off your non-existent problem solving skills. ( man in skuba outfit going into a barrel of water with a rubber tubing and some band aidsCOST Family Car £15000. Four bikes £500. Pic of paradise island. Things you could buy with the savings of buying bikes, not cars: your own private Island off Panama. (Free parrots and toucans included-and you won't get that with a Volvo estate) HEALTH Driving a car or vehicule for too long can do this to you: (insert arrow) Your driver's name is Roy fat driver Riding a bike for a long time can do this to you: tree trunks for legs, pristine lungs, dazzling skinSPEED In town, cars are slow, thirsty, and stress-inducing in traffic. The smug factor is high for cyclists who whizz past their stationary rivals. Despite G.T.I. capability on bikes (Guff Turbo Injection), for long journeys the car wins hands down. Flammable Methane and hydrogen enabling G.T.I to kick inSAFETY & PROTECTION Per billion miles, the ratio of deaths of motorists to cyclists is 1: 9 in the U.K. Nuff said. Despite the apparent hardiness of resilient cyclists in rubbish weather, the elements never make cycling easier. Someone in a car with ran outside: "sure feels comfy in here out of the rain" Someone going up a hill in the rain, grimacing: "god I hate cycling" Source: DfT (2005-2011)THE ENVIRONMENT One litre of petrol produces 2.3kg of Carbon Dioxide (CO2), the main gas responsible for the greenhouse effect; but for each kilometre cycled instead of driven, greenhouse gas emissions are reduced by up to one third of a kilogram. Cycling 10km each way to work saves 1.3 tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions per year. On yer bikes, people...

Posted in: cartoon, comic, Health & Well-being, Humor, humour | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
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